Humans have YOLO? Cats have YOLNT.
∴ Cats > Humans. CATS ARE TAKING OVER. hiss!
All there is is 24 hours, and all there is will never suffice. I always need to be doing more, never stopping to rest, to inhale a refreshing breath of air, to calm my mind. All there is is 24 hours to complete everything, but that is never enough. After one day ends, another begins, and there is always more to do. There is no time to fold my hands and relax. Each day is strategically divided into sections, an hour for one task, three hours for another. Time never stops, so why should I? Everyday comes with a multitude of tasks, with hours set out for each one. 24 hours divided by 4 tasks averages to 6 hours per task. 24 hours divided by 8 tasks averages to 4 hours per task. 24 hours divided by 12 tasks averages to 2 hours per task. 24 hours divided by 0 tasks, no tasks, simply taking time to relax, to stay in the present, is mathematically impossible. 24 divided by 0 is undefined, and I need the definite, the concrete. All there is is 24 hours.
Lamar Smith is the Republican U.S. Representative from Texas who initiated the bill known as SOPA, or supposedly the Stop Online Piracy Act. Along with the Senate’s PIPA bill (PROTECT IP Act), SOPA has brought the issue of online video piracy and streaming to national attention. Many Americans are in an uproar because SOPA was successful in shutting down major websites engaged in online piracy such as the beloved Megavideo.
Humans have the tendency to turn to illegal or immoral behavior to establish a sense of nonconformity and use impulsive/compulsive behaviors to validate or numb out their emotions. For example, in the film Stepbrothers (which sadly cannot be viewed anymore on Megavideo), the father, Robert, has a heated argument with the mother, Nancy, and turns to alcohol to escape the feelings attached to the conflict. In the brilliant UK drama Skins, Cassie turns to casual and compulsive sex with both men and women to detach and distract herself from Sid. Likewise, many humans resorted to viewing pirated movies and tv shows online to alleviate feelings of stress, sorrow, or angst. However, after SOPA was passed, people have no other choice but to actually feel their negative emotions (or they could turn to drugs, sex, alcohol, etc., but that requires effort, wits, and cash…) or even worse, actually rent or even BUY movies and discs with seasons of loved sitcoms. Or even watch a limited amount of shows and movies on hulu with dreaded second long COMMERCIALS. AHH THE HORROR!!!! Who has the time and money to sit through commercials and pay for DVDs? Especially in this economic slump?
People have blamed the 2012 Apocalypse for SOPA and the deterioration of the internet that many took for granted. However, humanity does not seem to realize the masterminds behind this evil plan…CATS. They are taking over the world, and they are making the human race suffer, starting with controlling the internet and depriving the population from emotional release. As a matter of fact, SOPA stands for Supremacy Over People and other Animals. Representative Lamar Smith is simply the slave of the kitties, brainwashed to obey their every command. By gaining influence in the U.S. government, a powerhouse in international affairs, the cunning species of cats are taking giants strides in achieving total world domination. The world is not going to end on December 21, 2012. Instead, cats are going to take over the entire universe! People need to realize that cats have already gained control over many aspects of American culture and norm: the internet, Disney movies, popular songs, celebrities, and even the government. Who knows what’s next? Education? The Superbowl? NATIONAL HOLIDAYS?!?!
Everyone needs to start preparing for the day that cats will achieve total control over the world. Watch out! REEROW!
I need at least 3 cups in the morning, and 2 in the afternoon.
It helps me see things, like the dark side of the moon
Drugs aren’t cool, stay in school!
Tea is nice, but coffee rules!
MEOW MEOW COFFEE!
for the kitty.
Dogs have always had the upper hand in society. They are referred to as man’s best friend, loyal, and friendly. Cats however, are associated with evil. Take a nostalgic breather and think about your childhood: the television shows, the Disney movies, and the storybooks. Most of the protagonists and heroes were dogs, and the villains or pets of villains were cats. To name a few…
1) Meowth, the beloved yet evil Pokemon of Team Rocket’s Jessie and James.
2) Persian, the pet of Pokemon’s criminal mastermind and Viridian City Gym leader Giovanni. With Persian at his side, Giovanni can infect the world from devastation, blight all peoples in every nation, denounce the goodness of truth and love, and extend our wrath to the stars above. Or, wrongly according to Jessie and James: protect the world from devastation, unite all peoples within our nation, denounce the evils of truth and love and extend our reach to the stars above (so punny, I love it).
3) Lucifer, the kitty cat of the evil stepmother in Disney’s Cinderella. Lucifer is an alias of Satan, the devil. Thus, Lucifer the cat is an allusion to the devil, and he made the lives of Cinderella and the mice Jaq and Gus absolutely miserable.
4) Si and Am, the Siamese Cats in Disney’s Lady and the Tramp (we are siamese, if you please) did nothing helpful but instead, attempted to kill off one of the pets, the poor goldfish, of Jim Dear and Darling. They then disrupt the baby’s slumber and cause the innocent Lady to be impounded in her dog house.
5) The Cheshire Cat of Alice and Wonderland. Disney obviously believed cats were evil, but furthermore, Disney alluded to cats being the primary participants of recreational drugs. The Cheshire Cat is often confused, not sure which way to direct Alice to go home. He is also always smiling and happy for no apparent reason at all, a hint of his regular drug use. His LSD-like symptoms are confirmed in his hallucinations which make him feel that he can disappear into thin air and balance on the branches of trees. I personally like the Cheshire Cat, despite his negative connotations.
6) The Aristocats. Don’t be fooled by their benign demeanor because these cats have clearly been involved in drug use and destruction of private property. Although the cats, particularly O’ Malley and the kittens, seem nice, they partake in sleeping pills (maybe Klonopin HEhehe) in Disney’s animated film The Aristocats. Besides engaging in pill popping, the cats demolish instruments and an entire house, breaking the floorboards and causing a ruckus that is unacceptable in society.
For shits and gigs, a good kitty!:
1) Oliver! The only reason, however, that made Oliver, the lovable orange kitten in Disney’s Oliver and Company, a good kitty was the fact that Oliver had no cat friends. He only had dogs, the “company”, as his companions. As a result, he gained his knowledge and maturity from dogs, which caused him to be acceptable in society.
Moral of these examples is that CATS ARE EVIL AND CATS DO DRUGS.
However, like the Aristocats sing, “Everybody wants to be a cat.” Despite being raised in a society where cats are alluded to pure evil, everybody still wants to be like them. This is the reason why feisty people partake in recreational drugs, bother babies, and trespass on private property. It is not because we truly want to, but because we have the urge and desire to be akin to cats, although we do not even realize that this urge exists. Case in point, cats are incredibly brilliant and have devised of a genius plan to raise humans from childhood with the false notion that cats are evil and hated. Yet, why do humans continuously attempt to perform actions that are so similar to those of these childhood cat characters? Simply stated: Cats are going to take over the world, one Disney movie, one Pokemon card, one child at a time.
Where you are?
people pass by think me so wear.
Meow! Cats are lurking everywhere, rapidly taking over the minds of all Americans, and no one is safe. These clever creatures started their journey towards domination with their simple anatomy: rough tongues that foreshadow the pain they can inflict, sharp claws that scream destruction, and night vision to watch everyone at all times, from dawn to dusk. They’ve tiptoed their way into all American lives, starting with the species of the Crazy Cat Lady, who loves cats even more than herself. She will spend her entire life with her cats, and will cease to exist in the social world, confining herself in her litterbox-smelling home with her hundreds of cats, never marrying, and becoming a ardent fan of tuna. Slowly, cats have crept from their first group of victims to their next target: the rich, famous, and reckless celebrities. Evidently, cats are geniuses, focusing on luring in the minds of celebrities, who have much influence on many in the American population, particularly tweens, teens, and young adults. Aside from an entire musical, “Cats”, dedicated to the cunning felines, the mention of cats flows throughout the media, from the famous hip-hop group, The Pussycat Dolls, to indefinitely every rap song created. For example, talented rap artist and ex-convict Lil’ Wayne introduced the idea of cats directly linked to horrifying beasts in his 2008 song “Pussy Monster”. Similarly, rapper Ludacris has subtly commented on the abundance of cats in society, expressing his belief that cats are ‘popping up everywhere’ in his song “Pussy Poppin’”. Undoubtedly, cats have not only taken advantage of the human mind and soul, but also the olfactory senses. Performer G-Unit describes in his song “I Smell Pussy” that he can not only identify his four cats, “Irv”, “Ja”, “Black”, and “Tah”, but he can also detect their scent with his nose. These famous celebrities rap about the hardcore aspects of living in the ‘fast lane’, such as their high intake of marijuana, their excessive partying habits, and their tendency to become involved in dangerous situations such as gun violence, sexually transmitted infections, and unplanned pregnancies. However, the majority of their songs also hint at ‘pussies’, or cats. Obviously, cats have control over even the toughest in the population, and thus, Darwin’s idea of ‘survival of the fittest’ is false. Although there is the saying that ‘Dog is a man’s best friend’, cats clearly have the upper hand, as men in this generation think constantly of not whether they’ve fed their dog, but whether they will obtain ‘pussy’, or a cat, on any given night. Undeniably, the famous disc jockey, DJ Khaled — known for his ramblings on being the best, putting his hands up, and always winning — is obsessed with the idea that cats are gaining world domination. He even considers himself a cat who will someday conquer the world in his song “We Takin’ Over”, quoting “we takin’ over, one city at a time”, suggesting that cats are infesting human minds in every city, one at a time, and will eventually exercise complete power over the entire planet and all species living within it. Everyone, be warned: Cats have the ultimate plan to dominate the world. Next time you see a cat roaming around the streets, flickering its tail, scavenging for rodents, and seeming innocent, I advise you to tremble with fear; it’s better to give in now rather than suffer the consequences of resistance later, as without a doubt, cats will someday have absolute control over every last continent, mile, and inch of Earth. REEEROWW!
Cure is tea!
Double — you ex.
The term “Polly Wanna Cracker”, commonly stated by talking parrots, is an allusion to the novel The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison. The fiction book is a dark, dramatic story, set during the years following the Great Depression, that touches on racism, child molestation, sexism, physical and emotional abuse, and incest. Pecola Breedlove, the protagonist, is born as the daughter of Cholly and Pauline Breedlove. Pecola believes that she is ugly, and the only way she can attain beauty is by having blue eyes, thus becoming a white person. Similarly, Pauline isolates and brainwashes herself to believe that black is incompetent, unclean, and ugly, whereas white is pure and beautiful. Pauline wishes to be whisked away from her reality, and regularly attends movies shown at the local cinema: movies that glorify the white woman. Pauline manipulates her hair to imitate the styles of the actresses in the movies. Furthermore, Pauline works as the housemaid for a wealthy white family, and adopts the name “Polly” while working with the family’s child. In essence, Pauline is literally a parrot, repeating the same ideas that she learned from observing the white society, just as a parrot repeats the same phrases uttered in the conversations it observes. As a result, “Polly Wanna Cracker” is a literary nudge at The Bluest Eye, as the term “cracker” is a ethnic pejorative for white people. Essentially, the ‘parrot’, “Polly”, or Pauline Breedlove, yearns for the “cracker”, or the ideals established by the white population during the novel’s time period.